General Jackassery

This is a picture I got tonight while driving home from my hockey game. The sun was setting and I thought it would be really pretty. I’m sure it would have had I taken time to actually shoot the picture the right way. Unfortunately I was doing about 80 mph down the interstate and I thought it prudent to pay more attention to driving than photography. Anyway, you can get an idea of how pretty the shot could have been had I stopped.

Well, it’s been in interesting Thanksgiving weekend so far. It’s been a lot of fun, but man have I done a ton of driving. Hope everyone else is having a great weekend.

So……….this is the life of a government employee! It’s 9:00 P.M. on Sunday evening and where am I? WORK! How long will I be here? Who knows, I just filled out my time sheet for today. I’ve worked 39 hours of over-time since last Sunday. That’s right, 79 hours in the span that normal people work 40. One of the guys on my hockey team said, “you know what your problem is Todd? You care too much!” He wasn’t really being serious because I think it makes most people happy to see people who work for the government working their asses off. Since most people feel like we are leaches sucking the life blood out of every good and decent American tax-payer. The good news is that I’m designing a road the will access the construction site for a Chemical Munitions Demilitarization facility. In short we’re working on getting rid of old WWII chemical stockpiles and I think that’s a worth while cause. The other projects I work on include Unexploded Ordinance Removal and Military firing ranges, life has really turned out to be interesting. I’m also becoming one of the best there is in this building with a certain software package and that gives me a sense of job security. BUT, back to the qoute from the guy that plays hockey with me. I told him that it’s not that I care about the Corps as much as I care about letting the people I work with down. It gives me a great sense of pride to turn out a package that’s professional quality and something that gives us a good enough reputation to keep work coming in the door, but it also gives me a sense of pride that I’m someone people can count on to get something done, and I’ve spent enough time in the field with these guys that they’ve become friends to me and closer in some ways and that makes it impossible for me to do anything but work my ass off to get this thing done right. SO, I’ll probably be here all night or atleast into the wee hours of the morning, but when the sun comes up and a brand new day arrives this package will be ready to be fed-exed to it’s destination and I’ll be ready to go home, take a shower, change clothes and come back in and finish my day.

For now that’s all.

Todder

Okay, so two hours of sleep this afternoon is just what the doctor ordered! Add a strategically placed text message that said just the right thing at the right time and you have a much happier Todder! So I’m back up on my feet again! Can’t say that I’ll be that way tomorrow morning or at 2 A.M. when I decide that I can’t stand work anymore, but we’ll see how things go.

There is something seriously wrong about being at work at 7 P.M. on a Friday night, knowing that you won’t be leaving for another 6 hours and you have to be back at work in the morning for 6 or 8 more hours and then again on Sunday for probably 24 hours! I don’t ever want to hear anything about this government employee being a waste of the tax-payer’s money. I think you’re getting you money’s worth out of me. I don’t remember a morning that I’ve slept passed 7 A.M. in months and it has to do mostly with work!

Anyway, speaking of work, back to it!

Oh, and if you want to know what I’m working on. This road is about to be MUCH wider!

That is all, you may carry on!

Todder, Out!

That’s kind of how I feel today. Like I’m on one knee and don’t quite have the strength to stand on my two feet.

It’s funny how life is! If you count the number of good things that happen in any given day I feel pretty certain that they would out number all the bad things that go on. However, the bad things are all we seem to be able to remember. It’s kind of the same with wants and needs. Once you finally have something that you wanted or needed there’s always something else that you want or need and people just never seem to be able to make themselves happy with what they have. I guess it’s the thrill of the chase.

My Dad used to always say that when things get bad, he just looks to the sky and say’s “Thanks God! I have no complaints!”

Okay, take all of that stuff an wrap into a tortilla and you have the burrito that’s been stuck in my head all morning. The question of “why can’t you just be happy with what you have?” is continually going through my head. If I count the number of things that have gone right for me or been good for me this morning and I count the things that have gone wrong, they are clearly in the favor of the good. So why is it that I’m done?

I don’t need anything! I have everything I ever wanted and I have somethings that I wasn’t sure I’d ever have.

I’d love to be able to say that I’m going to stop wanting and just be happy with what I have, but I can’t say that! Not wanting makes you complacent. You get stuck in ruts that way.

I’ll never forget, getting on my bike a couple of weeks ago in the pouring rain. I had forgotten to turn the crockpot on and I was planning on having dinner cooked when I got home, so my only option was to go back to the house and turn the crockpot on, but I didn’t want to drive. If I drove to the house I would waste my chance at getting my ride in that day. So I road my bike the 14 miles to the house and the 14 miles back to work, in the rain. As I was riding that day I passed three little signs on the side of the road. I have no idea what their intent was or why they were there, but they said Do……….You………Desire?

The answer to that question is a resounding “Yes” there are SO many things that I desire and I’m not going to stop until I get what I want out of life for me!

I AM going to do my best to stop dwelling on things that don’t go my way, but I’m NOT going to stop wanting.

Okay, back to the real world where work awaits

Todder

My Dad’s Wife Melissa sent this picture. They apparently had some pretty bad rains up in North Carolina these past couple of days. Melissa said that the river that runs in front of their house was 7 feet about flood stage. Anyway this picture is of a tree that slid off the side of the mountain and ended upright in the middle of the highway.

Enjoy!

Update!

I’m a friggin idiot and don’t know how to do this stuff yet. I’ll learn it and I’ll get it right soon. Until then NO PIC FOR YOU!

Okay! Gee-off is the masta! Thanks for hookin’ me up dude!

Okay, so I didn’t think I was going to post again today, but the urge to write has been in me for the last couple of months. I’ve really missed having clubtodder.com to vent my frustrations from time to time.

Anyway, I’m still at work and despite an intense desire to go home and sleep I sit here pecking away the keyboard. I feel like I’m getting nowhere fast with the project that I’m working on. It’s funny because I told Sarah last night that the funny thing about mountains is they never change size; they just look bigger the closer you get to them. Now I’m staring down a design package that has to be out the door by Monday. This package will consist of 130 pages of drawings give or take a few and I just can’t seem to motivate myself to really get going on it.

So much has happened in the last 4 months that I could probably write a book about it. Needless to say I’ve learned a lot about myself and about the people that I’ve surrounded myself with.

I’ve learned that my friends and family are the absolute best that anyone could ever ask for. You guys have been so loyal to me and so supportive over this period of time that’s been very hard for me to get through. I’m so proud that I have you all on my side.

I’ve learned that I made a huge mistake several months ago and to this day I regret it. There are some things and some people in life that are SO special that to throw them away is a mistake that cannot be made up for. I’ve never been one to intentionally hurt people, but sometimes when you’re lost you don’t know what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s up and what’s down. I was lost! You truly amaze me that you’ve been able to forgive me!

I’ve learned that God has really blessed me; that even when I make bad mistakes there always seems to be a solution to the problem that I’ve gotten myself into. Things always seem to work out the way they are supposed to. God has blessed me with gifts that I never could have imagined and those gifts aren’t material they are my friends, my family and a person that I will never again take for granted.

Life is sometimes very hard but over the last 6 months, since I bought my house, I’ve learned to love again. I’ve learned to love my family and my friends more than I ever did before. And I’ve learned to appreciate them because you guys are the reason I am what I am. You’ve helped me keep going when I didn’t think I could.

Okay, I know it sounds like I’m being sappy, but these are things that I truly believe and feel. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in my life, despite the amazing amount of stress that I’ve been under the last couple of months. You know what they say though, diamonds are formed under intense pressure and hopefully one day I’ll turn out to be a diamond. Until then I’ll just keep pedaling and one day I’ll get there.

Somewhere, some how I found the drive and the desire to make changes in my life and I thank you guys for that!

Todder

P.S. Bebo Norman will probably never see this site, but many thanks to him. His music has been an inspiration to me and sometimes it keeps me aware of some of parts of life that I don’t think about all the time.

Well, welcome to my little spot on the web, all two of you who know about it. I just wanted to post a little something to let Geofro know that I really appreciate him putting this together for me and let Sarah know that I really appreciate her putting the layout together. Youz twoz are pretty cool peeps! Reckon I’ll have to keep you both around.

Anyway, life has been pretty interesting lately. When I get more time I’ll fill everyone in, but for now just know that I left work at 4:30 this morning and I’m currently sitting at my desk with a miniscule two hours of sleep thinking that this is not what a government employee’s life is supposed to be like. Oh well, the design package that has kept me stressed to the limits has to be ready for the printer by about 4:00 A.M. Monday morning, and after that I’ll be back to 8 hour days for a little while. Really looking forward to that.

Well that’s all for now.

Todder, out!

Okay, the basic part of the layout is now complete.

Visual design credit goes to Sarah. The software package is WordPress. I was the moron who installed it all and merged Sarah’s design into the templating system.

Have fun, Todd.